What does the future hold?

It seems to be everywhere. "40 something women" who are 'living live and loving it'. Whatever "it" may be. Dating younger men, living extravagant lifestyles, going clubbing until the wee hours of the morning, and everything in between. I can understand that some women are just enjoying their life and others are in denial, trying to extend their youth as long as they possibly can until they begin to look ridiculous. When women are constantly getting plastic surgery in order to make themselves feel better, where do you draw the line? Botox has become one of the most common procedures amongst American women and after having seen the results in person, I can't help but get consumed by fear. Is this what the future looks like for those of us who haven't hit thirty? In a world of sinking war ships, oil spills, crashing economies, and failing marriages, what do we have to look forward to?

Here's the thing- am I going to end up like them? As I get closer to cementing the details of my adult life, I'm wondering what things are going to be like in 20 years. Am I going to end up looking something like a hobbit with strict rules and a crazy-bad haircut like half of the women on "Wife Swap"? Or am I going to be a self-involved gym-crazy mother who desperately clings to her youth in even more clingy clothing? Am I going to be something in between? I'm not sure, but between all of the media sources and my own experiences I think I'm going to have to find my own way to avoid being a "Real Housewife" or being a real mess. As I take these next few steps on less than stable ground, I'm just going to have to learn as I go because so far I haven't seen a good example.

Drink Me

For Christmas this year, I received a gift card from my boyfriend's mother. It was for the movies, which I thought was a very sweet gesture. It just happened to coincide with my desire to see the new Alice in Wonderland film by Tim Burton. I had no idea that I would see the movie three times ($50 well spent), or that it would pop into my head while I was trying to settle my mind as I was laying in bed. Now, I know that the film was based on both books, but I can't stop thinking about the film itself (primarily because I never read the books). After having read so many different pieces of fiction, there is one thing I can ascertain: Growing up is important. I know what you're thinking -"well, no shit"- it's true. And not for the reason you think. But the thing is, I'm still having trouble with the "growing up" part. Childhood is easy. You learn a lot of things from it. For example, childhood provides the foundation for your adult fears. Think about it- were you pushed off of the jungle gym as a child? Are you afraid of heights now? I'm not trying to sound like a motivational speaker or a high-school counsoler here, but one of the most important things anyone can learn is to be brave. This doesn't mean base-jumping if you have a fear of heights. No one should do that. But as I'm entering the true phase of adulthood in my life, I can't help but feel as though I've fallen down the rabbit hole. There are several doors before me, but taking the one I want to has got me intimidated for the same reasons I have all of my other fears. I find myself wondering how I am going to get through it.