Mark S

Kindness lasts forever. You'll be missed.

For those about to...

"You hate people!"
"But I love gatherings. Isn't it ironic?"

My life has taken a rather dramatic turn lately in that I no longer find my free time to be "free", but otherwise occupied. This is not an unfortunate change and in fact it is not unwelcome either. The idea that my time has been merely manipulated in order for me to see things in a different way has proven to be quite beneficial. Now some may ask what I mean by allusion to a shift in perspective so allow me to elaborate:
As someone who found herself with a great deal of free time at one point, I thought it necessary to occupy my time with a great deal of introspection. I thought about who I am to strangers, family, and myself. It is very clear that all of this thought has paid off in some way because now there is a certain level of confidence in my stride that was not there before. This confidence, however, does not negate my humility. You can be both confident and humble. It can be done. Oh yes.
In order for this feat to be accomplished one must first acknowlege a universal truth:
Everyone is different.
Say it with me.
"Everyone is different"
Good.
Now this is crutial because when observing others you must repeat this in your head because it allows you to remove yourself from the situation and observe. In order for me to save time, I will state my immediate findings here:

• Tools cannot be saved. Once a tool, always a tool. The only thing that can be done with them is appreciate the level of their tool-i-ness.
• A man may not notice when a woman is flirting, but women do. It is blaringly obvious, in fact. Now it is true that when a woman is flirting she may not be interested in the person she is flirting with, but the fact of the matter is she does want one thing: attention.
• Spoiled children get yelled at more than well-adjusted children and in my opinion, they generally contribute less to society. Please consider this before purchasing a BMW for your daughter's sweet sixteen.

Before I leave you for another undetermined period of time, please know that the Hannah Montana "Best of Both Words" song shares it's title with the porn Randall rents in Clerks. Yes, indeed.

It may be a New Year for you...

It's a brand new year. Not brand spanking new, no, but new enough. As a young person with so much time on her side and potential to take advantage of, you would think that my first new entry would be filled with hope. My head space isn't quite there right now, though. There are a few things that have happened recently and things are closing in that have robbed me of that. My next birthday is coming in quickly and to be perfectly frank: I'm not excited. Not at all. I'll be another year older and I don't have much to show for it. Not only do I have nothing planned for the big day (except that I have to be in school as usual), but memories of birthdays passed only haunt me. This all sounds quite melodramatic, I know, but there isn't any other way to describe it. I'm trying to keep things as close to the truth as they can possibly get. And just so we're quite clear about something: I tell the truth. I always tell the truth. The thing is, I get frustrated when people lie because to me this expresses a lack of faith in the other person. It says "I don't think that you can understand what the facts are and I don't believe you are able to handle it". My belief is that only someone who is extremely thick-headed would be foolish enough to believe they know what is good for someone else. Especially when it comes to the truth. With that in mind, I try to give to others this thing that I ask in return: Don't worry about hurting my feelings with the truth. I'd rather feel hurt than stupid.

Nineteen days and counting...

Chaos Theory

Those of you who do not know me on a personal level won't be fully aware of my stigma, so for a moment, let me enlighten you.

Though I must admit I had not always behaved accordingly, I learned at a very early age what was right and what was wrong. As time wore on, I thought I was capable of distinguishing between the two. Then a funny thing happened: the things I had sequestered within the "bad" category began to sound more and more off limits. Eventually this was reflected in my personal habits and behavior. A once acceptable teenager might've been mistaken (on occasion) for an off-duty librarian. 

The problem with this behavior may not be immediately clear. One might say to themselves "What's wrong with that?" but unless you've lived it, you can't quite understand. What I can tell you is that to live life in fear of what might happen is no way to live at all. So what's the point I'm trying to make? Well, I think that there are many kinds of people in this world, but those who were cursed with my particular problem are in need of a solution and I believe I may have the answer:

A bad influence. The problem is that in the Angel v. Devil war that takes place on our shoulders, the Angel always wins. But the Angel doesn't always know what's best. Sometimes the best thing is to learn from your own mistakes, otherwise you end up living life consumed by your own irrational fears. So find someone who can talk you into something you might not like. Someone you can get a little dirty with. I've said it before and I'll say it again:

"Sometimes you just need a push in the wrong direction."

A little side note: while I was composing this blog, hanging at the coffee shop I currently work at, I noticed that I had drawn arrows all over the page. When I said "I have no idea why I like drawing arrows so much"; He retorted with "Because they know where they're going." Just thought that was kind of funny.

A little free time after breakfast

My neighbor is playing his/her music far too loud. I have no idea what it is. Whatever it is, it's got a lot of bass. So I started listening to my own music. Sometimes the most wonderful moments of life are the ones outlined by a good song. A driving guitar track can be the perfect frame for the picture of a winding road in the mountainous tropics of Maui. Sometimes the perfection lies within the lyrics that you hear when you're laying upon your bed, staring at the ceiling, seeking comfort from the music. I'm not seeking any kind of emotional comfort from anything but  I'm laying here soaking up the wisdom of these people.

Sprinkles...

Due to my own personal mindset (read: cluster-fuck), I've shifted my focus to some not-so-important things. With that said, I've put together another playlist. These are songs I'm listening to and enjoying right now:

1. "Dream" - Alice Smith. To me this song sounds like a sigh of relief. It makes me feel better when I'm feeling a little bored with life. First heard it on Entourage so I was pretty open to liking it, I guess.

2. "My Hero" - Paramore. This is a great cover of a great song (the original track was performed by The Foo Fighters). I think that when different people perform the same song, they have different feelings. The original track is tough and victorious. This new version is sweet and sentimental. Almost romantic. Love it.

3. "Call to Arms" - Angels & Airwaves. This band has grown on me a lot more since I saw them recently. They were a lot better than I expected. I chose this song because it inspires me. It's kind of like when you're running as fast and hard as you can and you can see the end. You're out of breath. Your body hurts. Despite how you're feeling, you push forward and run those last steps. That's how this song sounds to me. 

4. "I Don't Care" - Fall Out Boy. I've got to be honest here. I was listening to Fall Out Boy a long time before they were "Like, Omigod I totally love Fall Out Boy". Shortly after they got in with the MTV crowd, I got sick of them. I'm not saying that I'm too cool to like the pop music, but they just got very overplayed. I like this song because it's a little different than what they've been doing lately. Plus this lyric is sick: "Say my name and his in the same breath, I dare you to say they taste the same." 

5. "Rainy Day" - Plain White T's. Another sweet song by the Plain White T's. Surprise surprise. I know people have said that the Jonas Brothers (gag) are the new Beatles, but I honestly think the title should go to the PWT's. Just a thought...

6."Nine in The Afternoon" - Panic at The Disco. This is the kind of song you blast when you're in a good mood while you're on a drive with the windows down and well...I do a lot of driving. 

Fairy Tales and Sex Jokes

When I was a little girl I loved fairy tales. The flowery stories all unfolded in ways that made the characters' lives seem so wonderful. Of course Prince Charming would show up and rescue the damsel in distress! Cinderella would no longer have to clean up after her lazy family members. The Frog would turn into a man who conveniently is also royalty and would live happily ever after with the Princess. You get the point. Anyway, as I grew up these fairy tales which were often animated for my viewing pleasure eventually were replaced by something not far off: Romantic Comedies. Instead of Sleeping Beauty, there's Sleepless in Seattle. French Kiss instead of The Frog Prince. When you think about it, the similarities are astounding. 

If you boil all of the stories down to their bare bones, you really don't have anything left except for the makings of most any fairy tale classic. Boy meets Girl - Boy/Girl has a problem - Girl/Boy has solution - They fall in love - The End. I can't think of a single film that falls within this category that doesn't follow this formula. To be completely honest? It has gotten pretty boring. I can't even watch Sleepless in Seattle any more. 

Fortunately where there is a problem, there is a solution. The solution to my particular problem is the fleet of films that have been coming out more recently. The comedies that are as smart as they are funny while lacking completely in pretension. The movies that immediately leap to mind are The 40-Year-Old Virgin, Knocked Up, and Forgetting Sarah Marshall. In my opinion, you could almost categorize any one of them as a Romantic Comedy without the gag-inducing Hallmark-memories Kodak-moment mental pictures that the other films I'd mentioned bring about. The thing about these movies is that the most important thing to the film is the comedy, not the romance. The things that spring to mind about any of these movies are not how cute a certain moment was or just how touching the end might have been, but the jokes that just don't seem to get old. The romance in these movies is so discrete that one might have to struggle just to remember the moments (I know I'm guilty of it, on occasion), but that makes it far more palatable. My point is that though some people may think that romance has died, it hasn't. It's just cleverly hidden.